Lives of quiet desperation

Henry Thoreau (July 12, 1817 – May 6, 1862) made a statement many years ago about real-everyday people and it remains valid even now. He said that 'majority of men are living lives of quiet desperation'.

There are three things that fascinate me about this statement. One is how valid and true the statement is, the second is the active word 'living', and the third is the word 'quiet'.

This generation is dying, and yet some would say it is more alive than ever. There are better opportunities, improved health care and more innovative solutions; this is the age that no feat seems impossible when viewed with a true scientific mind.

But is it so farfetched to imagine that one day the earth would stand empty and the only sounds and movements would be that of the machines we have created? Not in my mind it isn't. But this would never be allowed to happen because in spite of how frustrated and desperate people are, they still love 'living'.

Living is something you do when you don't stop your life through suicidal means. It’s what I am doing at this laptop writing, putting thoughts on paper. It’s what you do when you wake up in the morning and rush around the house preparing to go to a job you hate or love. It’s what your neighbour across the road is doing taking that gorgeous woman on a date. Living is what you do every second, the choices you make and the execution of it no matter how insignificant the choice. You don't have to like any bit of being awake but hey that's 'living'.

Sometimes we fall into the habit of thinking the other guy has got it perfect. There is that something about the way he has chosen to paint his life; the bright orange and sky blue colours that hang around him – could be the way he laughs so loud and never seems to have a care in the world, seems to be doing alright; got a nice apartment on a really cool stretch, best SUV in the market and oh is that a Rolex?

Then someone says – two months later- did you hear about so and so? No? He drove off a bridge!

No, not that guy! You actually wonder if he drove off in that SUV or borrowed someone's beat up car. What could he possibly want to go jumping for? If only he knew what life is like for other people; someone like you for instance.

Here you are, struggling everyday with idiot bosses and a job you hate; taking the crowded stuffy bus to work on the same bridge he leapt off (how did he find the space in this traffic to manoeuvre and go over that bridge?) and for God's sake even he can’t survive this cramped space you call home, with neighbours who drive you crazy every day. What right did he have to go over that bridge?

But that's one guy who got tired of living a life of 'quiet' desperation.

So many people are tired. Mentally, physically, socially and spiritually tired. Their brains are dulled by the disillusion of life but they just go on living. Things haven't turned out like their parents and teachers told them it would. The good, honest and loyal aren't inheriting anything but dust and lower rungs of the ladder.

So many are desperate and wishing some magic would happen and change the course of events in their lives. Desperate in their unhappy marriages. Desperate in their jobs. Desperate with so little achievement in spite of the long grinding hours. Desperate because their minds won’t stop dreaming and imagining, and then their eyes start to see those same ingenious ideas that they discarded right at the door of their minds being brought to life by other (braver but less intelligent) souls.

And the social circles are unrelenting in their unsympathetic ways. Our friends and colleagues would not allow us to bring our woes to the surface lest we look worse than them and hence actually get some sympathy. So we press our starched shirts with just a little more heat, get a nice hair cut and look the part. Just one more day to get through, we say.

I was thinking the other day about how unhappy I was about life, and then I looked around the room and asked myself what I knew about the cheerful looking people in the room. Everyone was laughing about a joke. What I could tell about them said-scratch just a little under and you would be astounded at the depth of bleakness and the hopelessness beneath the façade.

People live such unhappy lives but majority of them would not change it. Either they don't believe it should be changed (some religious doctrine probably encourage this), they are afraid of changing it (our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure) or they can’t change it (some life altering trauma, disease etc.)

There is also the fear of changing the pattern of their lives.
They’ve being in this slump for so long. It's supposed to get better but it isn't. They want to add real value but they aren't. They should be earning more than when they started but they are not. Life should be interesting, a great adventure, but it’s not turning out that way. They want so badly that it should turn out right and that they should get it right.

Our destiny is really in our own hands - Taking our future and steering it right. Making tough but worthy decisions, and living it to the end, yes that is possible, and in our control too.

But it takes guts. It takes a steel will. It takes an uncompromising heart. It takes a lot of difficult to-do things.

Somewhere in our desperate hearts we know this. The question is, are we willing to address the desperation? To say I would rather die trying.............................

And what are we willing to do with the time given to us, keeping in mind that we have no idea how long or short it is